Pattaya Headlines: Do I Really Want To Be There?

First have a look at the headlines in Pattayadailynews.com.
Mmmm, today we have: drug habits increasing, gun-happy motorbike gangs, katoey pick-pocket, today's robbery victim, tour boat catches fire, etc.
No one got stabbed and burned like that Mr. Martin Jochems last week or no spectacular accidents today. Not bad!

Did get poisoned the other day on oysters, the beach and bay is badly polluted...
Why would anyone want to live anywhere else?

Living In Pattaya

(And yes, those are ladyboys in the photo!)

Breast Implants in Pattaya, Thailand

In Pattaya silicone seems much in fashion at Peppermint these days and another fresh, smooth-skinned 23-year-old showcase girl apparently got herself a set two months ago. She claims they cost 80,000 baht, but, from my hands-on research on the subject, I think she overpaid. Bolt-ons that expensive are usually very soft and natural. Hers were not.

They still look good, however, and for the price of one draft beer, she allowed me to continue my research. She claims to have worked in Pattaya only six months and got the add-ons two months ago. That means she had to have saved up 80,000 baht in four months. Knowing how fast Thai girls run through barfine money, that seemed unlikely. But that was her story and she was sticking to it.
Pattaya Ghost

Bang for the Buck in Bangkok

The cost of sex in Bangkok:


Go-Go Bars:
Total: 1020 baht in the bar, 300 for the room, 20 for condom, and 1500 for the dirty deed of darkness.
All in all, 2840. Again, this is definitely on the cheap side, at least for me.
Rounds: One.
Bucks-per-bang: $84.73 x 1 = $84.73



Soapie:
Performance: On this occasion was awesome.
In the bath, up against the tiles, on the sofa,
and pretty much everywhere except on the bed.
Total: 2,000 baht
Rounds: Two
Bucks-per-bang: $59.67 x 2 = $29.84


Freelancer:
Performance: Extremely enthusiastic.
Total: 2,000 baht
Rounds: Two
Bucks-per-bang: $59.67 x 2 = $29.84





BJ Bars:
Lolita’s works out at a marvellously economical $20.88 bucks per bang, assuming you don’t buy a drink (which is perfectly acceptable), but that’s oral-only.

Bangkok Bad Boy

Inside The Tilac Bar

Was Bangkok Bad Boy on Patpong for Christmas Eve?

On Christmas Eve, I found myself in the Duke of Wellington Pub in Silom. Beer was consumed. Some bright spark decided that Sambuca would make a fine chaser.
Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink.

(wavy lines)

Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
I opened my eyes in a strange bed, in a strange room, with a strange girl lying next to me.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
Someone was banging on the door.
“Hello?”, I tried to say.
“Huuuuuuuurrrghhh”, I actually said.

“Twelve o’clock, you check out”, said a disembodied voice from the other side of a tatty door.
My mystery sleeping companion jumped up, and quickly started to dress.
I was already wearing one sock, which was a head start that I particularly appreciated in this state. I eventually found the other, and managed to dress.

I still had no idea where I was.
There was a window in the corner of the room. I pulled back the curtain, and peeped out.
I could see a litter-strewn street, and the sign for Safari bar. Which is in Patpong.
Evidently I’d fallen asleep in a short-time room. Or a long-time room, rather. I can report that The Madrid Suites, on Patpong 1, will let you stay all night for a fee.
I stumbled, squinting and wobbling, into the daylight. It hurt.

Bangkok Bad Boy

(lower painting by Ulf Malmgren)

Stickman in Pattaya

These images were taken in Pattaya in 2005 by Stickman.
Some things have changed, I'm sure,
but some things remain the same.
To see more of Stickman's photos, click here.